The Real Deal Behind Personal Empowerment

Being ‘self-empowered’ is a bit of a buzz word these days and many will tell you the top ten ways to become more self-empowered. Trust others. Relax. Do meditation. Don’t worry about the future and so on. 

But what does self-empowerment really mean and how can you be self-empowered right now with ease? 

From the time we were born we have been learning through observation and exploration the concepts of cause and effect. If something we do gets an instant reaction we say that that action created a result. Like crying for food, or saying something cute. For most people, an immediate response from your parents ensued. 

If one event is consistently followed by another, we start believing that the first event causes the second. But at some point we turn our attention away from our own actions creating the response and start to focus on external events influencing us. We lose our hold somewhat on our own ability to enact change. 

At some stage we then turn from our own place of taking responsibility and start placing blame on the external environment, events and people for everything that is going on in our lives (or at times, not going on). 


“I can’t start that new job I want to because my husband needs me on the farm.” 

“I can’t go on a holiday because the government has too many restrictions.” 

“I am in a bad mood because the dog jumped on me this morning.” 

“She makes me want to cry.”

“I can’t do what I want since my family demands too much from me.”

“If he had come home on time, I would not have been late.” 


In your language, look for signals that you are living at effect. Words such as ‘because’, ‘if…then’ “makes” are all keywords that will indicate this. 

The problem with living at effect is that the external world is unpredictable and does not have any concern for your internal environment. It is not responsible for you. You are. So you will find that when you live at effect for a long period of time you may end up quite frustrated, stuck, worried all the time, stressed, depressed… and the list goes on. 


Who’s Driving Your Bus?

Feeling like you have very little influence over your life is a challenging place to live. It’s like being on a bus and being driven around all your life with little influence over where you are going. 

But.. the exciting news is that you have options. You have unlimited potential waiting for you should you decide to cross the line… and come over to the side of ‘cause.’

When you live at cause, you take 100% responsibility (‘response ability’) for everything going on in your life – every emotion, every thought, every action, every response, every decision. 


“I can make it happen.”

“I have a choice.”

“I am the creator of my own life.”

“I can choose how I feel.” 


This is when you finally take charge and decide that you are going to drive your own bus (as opposed to being driven around all the time). 

See, when you pass your responsibility off to the world around you, you are disempowered. 

When you choose to be at cause, you are truly empowered. This is when you know that any and every decision you make will take effect with the intention you designed it for. 

Here’s a table that may help you reflect on which side of the equation you may be living at right now: 




Takes responsibility







Puts up with


Has to


No choice



In control of emotional state without being influenced by others / events

Responds to others emotional states



Makes things happen




NLP is a very powerful technique based on the power of your own mind. By learning NLP, you can learn to take control of your mind and how you respond to the world.

“You may not be able to control the world, but you can control how you react to it.”  

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